The
numbers are chilling. Teen suicide and homicide rates have tripled
from twenty years ago. There is a 50% increase in childhood obesity.
Teenage pregnancy rates are the highest for any Western society.
SAT scores have plummeted. 15-20% of kids are flunking kindergarten.
Millions of children are medicated to be more “manageable” at home
and school. One of the ongoing tragedies in our culture is that
these problems are occurring in our most precious national resource,
our children. Can these stats be turned around? Yes, and much of
it can be prevented.
Here are
the 5 basic prevention factors in raising good kids: good parenting,
physical nourishment, love, guidance and environmental benefits.
Simple Simon right? It sounds easy, yet Dr. Michael Dana, life
coach and an expert in juvenile affairs for the Federal government
states, “The mission of good parenting is the fostering of children
in a manner that allows them to grow up to be normal, productive
and law-abiding adults who have successfully realized their God-given
potential.” So what does that mean to you and I as parents?
Here’s Dr.
Dana’s Number 1 Key:
Effective
parenting starts with being involved in your children’s lives.
In our busyness,
we are often distracted and not really “with” our children. Giving
children quantity and quality time, in today’s world is hard!
Parents who are striving to spend more time with their children
are learning to be creative. Barb, a busy mom of 2 girls, works
part time so she can be home when her girls come home from school.
”I want to make the most of every moment I spend with Kimmy and
Carleigh. Even the time we spend in the car running errands can
be productive; we play word games, work on spelling, or play audio
books on CD. My girls know I’m interested in their school work
and learning is more fun when we do it together.”
Dr. Dana,
dad of three, emphasizes: some Be-Attitudes for Parents:
- Be aware.
- Be a listener.
- Be good
at helping your children express their feelings.
- Be engaged.
Participate
in your child’s activities and interests. This can be done in
a variety of ways - by talking about family history, allowing
them to have free time to play and explore, through reading good
classical and faith-based literature, establishing family traditions,
and by sharing your own life experiences.
There is
an urgent need for families to lessen their hurried lifestyles
and become a haven, one that is nurturing for both children and
adults. Dr. David Elkind’s advice, in his landmark book, “The
Hurried Child” written more than—can you believe it-- 20 years
ago, seems to have gone unheeded. “The pressure to grow up fast,
to achieve early is a driving force in middle-class America. There
is no room today for the "late bloomer"... Children have to achieve
success early or they are regarded as losers.” Many parents push
their kids to be involved in activities because they feel peer
group pressure to make their children as competent as the neighbor’s
kids. This not only robs hurried children of a childhood, but
also robs them of the most important gift a parent can give -
their undivided time and attention.
Family mealtimes,
traditionally an occasion of family bonding, has seen a decline
in modern times. Working mothers, who customarily carry the weight
of this responsibility, often find it difficult to make regular
home-cooked meals a reality. Bill and Nancy, both working parents,
felt increasingly scattered and distant from their teenaged boys.
They determined to prioritize their time as a family. Nancy finally
came up with a solution - she marshaled the family to help on
the weekend with cooking meals for the week. “This made all the
difference in the world; we realized that our boys only had a
few years left at home and we were missing it. Not only did the
extra planning and time pay off in helping my boys learn their
way around the kitchen, we experienced a lot more communication
and connecting as a family.”
Parents as
a group, are the least prepared to tackle the most challenging,
and yet rewarding job of raising children. Think how much time
and expense is spent learning a profession. Dr. Dana offers this
advice, “No parent is perfect, but those parents who truly want
the best for their children should always be vigilant to get support
and education.” So follow Dr. Dana’s number 1 key to preventing
problem kids and get involved before someone else requires you
to get involved. .
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About
The Author
Pam
Jarvis is Services Coordinator for Alan Randall and possesses
a true gift for bringing out the best in people. After receiving
her bachelor's degree in speech pathology, she taught for
over 15 years in private and public education. Pam is a
certified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and
has been a successful facilitator and liaison in many non-profit
organizations, including a parents' advocate group for alternative
educational approaches. Pam is the mother of five and grandmother
of three. She and her 2 younger sons are active in their
local church and volunteer for Lost and Found Family Counseling
Center in Denver, Colorado.
ARARealLife,
provides absolutely confidential consultation for those
desiring assistance to become more effective personally,
professionally, spiritually, and family-wise. We assist
adults and young adults with practical and easily implemented
solutions to real life obstacles in all facets of daily
life including managing stress, setting priorities, managing
anger, and building self-confidence. For more information,
you can visit ARARealLife.com
or call 703-758-2366 ext.22 for a free introductory coaching
session.
ARARealLife.com
is a service of Alan Randall Associates.
coaching@arareallife.com
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This article
was posted on February 23, 2005
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